Paper on Social Construction

Amina Karim

WGS 100

2/17/2019

        “Because You’re a Girl” by Ijeoma A. is a story that can relate back to the lives of many individuals, no matter where they are from. This story is about a young girl living in Nigeria who has been told, since an early age, what her place in the household should be and continue to be once she gets married. She is to cook, to clean, to take care of the children, to pledge allegiance to the man in charge, and to not stray from this path because if she does, no one will want to marry her. In Ijeoma’s culture, straying from the norm would lead to women being lonely or unhappy. So, Ijeoma conformed to her culture; she cleaned the dishes, cooked for the family and listened to her father’s orders. But there was one place where there were no rules, especially from a man and that was school. Ijeoma excelled there and took a leadership position where she was able to tell the boys to clean and she was the one giving the orders. At school, she was able to enforce the change in gender roles whereas at home she was powerless to it. Because of Ijeoma’s good grades, she was able to go to school in the United States. Once there, her perception on what women were supposed to do and “born” to do quickly shifted. Ijeoma didn’t have anyone to tell her what to do, whether it is to do her bed or even go to school. She found out her roommate never had to clean her brother’s room because “he does that his damned self”. Ijeoma started to fall in love with America and felt much more light and free without having the burden to do the things she was to do at home. However, when going back to her hometown, Ijeoma underwent conflicts between wanting to make her family happy and also having a new set of beliefs now that she lived in America. She did not think she could ever go back to the conforming rules her family had placed on her at such an early age. So, she did not restrain herself when telling her family members that she would not do anything they wish anymore. Ijeoma loves her culture but has since grown up and chooses her own happiness above the happiness of others and will not live a life where her life is inferior to her male counterpart.

        This story written by Ijeoma clearly depicts the differences in what a man is expected to do and what a woman is expected to do in a household. The man is to be waited on while the woman gives him what he wants. They must be submissive and are not allowed to talk back in a disagreement. The success of a woman is seen as how well she can raise her kids and how much of a loving wife she can be. There is this social construct that is so normalized in many cultures where the girls are supposed to cook and clean and men are to work and provide for the family. Over time, this issue has gotten a lot better but there are cultures where this way of living is still very prevalent and it is still the type of life a mother wants for her daughter. However, the idea that a man is supposed to be the breadwinner and has a sense of entitlement over anyone beneath them is very quickly vanishing as Michael Kimmel illustrates in his novel Angry White Men. The days of men, specifically straight white men, thinking they have ownership over women, over a certain set of ideals, and over marginalized people are over. They are not the only ones entitled to that corner office or to a position of power just because that was the way of life years ago. A lot of this also has to do with the fact that many people do not like change. For Ijeoma, the catering to men was something she learned from her mother who learned from her mother, and so on. The same goes for men who think they are entitled to a sense of power, because that is how their father and grandfathers raised them. But because something is done one way for such a long time, does not mean that is the correct or only way to do something. Change is necessary and quickly approaching but men should stand next to women in this fight to help for equal rights, not only in the work life but also home life.