Into the Night

Into The Night

I find it interesting to compare the social normalcies of my personal upbringing versus that of another. One event can provide me with so much critical thought and judgment of another’s casualties and choices.  For the most part, I know who I am and have a solid understanding of how and why I like to spend my life. Having been sheltered under a considerably strict household, I’ve never sought a wild night of partying, intoxication, and regretful decisions. I tend to surround myself with like-minded individuals, and I find surrounding myself with like-minded individuals is a key to my personal happiness (Motahari). My friends and I don’t really go out to clubs, bars, or anywhere that involves a lot of people mixed with intoxicating substances. It has never really been our scene. One individual’s casual occurrence is another’s rarity.  However, that was the situation I found myself apart of last Friday night with my best friend, who always seems to push me out of my comfort zone.  It was a night of so many implications in which I questioned what it means to really enjoy life? Is it by conforming to what the majority enjoy or is it by staying in one’s own comfort zone? I ask myself these existential questions not knowing if there is a direct right or wrong answer.

            Anna, my best friend, always seems to persuade me to do things I don’t fully want to do. I don’t know If it’s me conforming to peer pressure or this inner desire to actually push myself to try new things and not say no to a new experience. The event was nothing revolutionary or particularly unique. It was Audrey’s 21st birthday, one of Anna’s friends. It started with a dinner on a stormy evening in San Francisco and was followed by bar hopping in the city.  I have never been to bar in my life, and it definitely did not feel like my scene.  Additionally, I had met this person once before once before and the night was surrounded by her family and friends which made me feel anxious. I wouldn’t consider myself awkward, but I am more socially inexperienced with these uncomfortable scenarios. It’s an irrational fear I have to come to realize may hold me back from living my life to the fullest (Belanger). Nonetheless, I told Anna I would attend with her so she wouldn’t have to drive to the city by herself on a particularly rainy night. I don’t have many excuses to dress to the nines so I spent several hours getting dressed, putting on makeup, and styling my hair as most do on special occasions. Dinner reservations were at 8pm but of course we arrived late, as Anna is notorious for being late to everything. Before we walked into the restaurant we both braced ourselves, unsure what the night would have in store for us. We both clearly had no clue what these regular occurrences for many, would entail for sheltered folk like us. I don’t know if we ever would understand. A get together in a bustling location a few cities from home, to drink and party, is casual to people like Audrey. The night would continue to test my tolerance for those that clearly had an upbringing of different privileges and normalcies than my own.  

Arriving late to a stranger’s birthday dinner is never a great first impression, but, Audrey, smiled brightly as she saw Anna walk through the door over joyous she came to her celebration. Despite only meeting me once, she hugged me warmly and thanked me for coming. I also introduced myself to her mother; her face read an emotion of strong questionability of who I was and why I was there. Audrey was a vivacious host as she made her rounds across the large round table of 15 guests cramped in the back room of the restaurant. We awkwardly ate as everyone else who presumably came on time made small talk. It was not long before Audrey’s parents ordered a round of shots for the table, and I felt too out of place to accept the offer. Then another round was served complimentary of the restaurant. As soon as we arrived, it seemed that part of the night was coming to a close. However, we soon came to realize, it was just the beginning of what was to follow. Audrey’s parents very generously covered the whole table’s tab (of what I assume was a very expensive dinner for 15 including food and many alcoholic beverages). I grew more uncomfortable but they refused any payment from Anna and I. Audrey’s parents were so peculiar to me. Maybe it’s because they clearly nurtured their daughter’s free spirit through the lack of strong discipline and money privilege. Audrey’s mother is a paralegal and stepfather is a vice-president of technology based monster company, Oracle. This allowed her many opportunities, so wild nights in the city are nothing more than the life she is blessed to live. I don’t consider myself envious of others, but during this night I found myself in awe of how normal this celebration seemed to her and how much she seemed to just enjoy life. My lust for life has me being more cautious than anything. I find myself conforming to the same routine attached to the same responsibilities put upon me. I look to people like Audrey and ask myself if I would be happier making those nights out a regular occurrence rather than staying in my bubble of comfort.

            I wish I were one of those individuals that enjoyed alcohol-driven nights. When I turned 21, the coveted ability to legally drink, alcohol never peaked my interest. I occasionally have a drink for special occasions, but more than one is usually pushing it for me. Based on the night’s events, Audrey was clearly experienced before turning 21, as many are. If her goal that night was to not remember it, she achieved that. The first bar we walked into after dinner was quaint and I enjoyed the laid-back vibe and found myself really enjoying myself. Our experience was quite comical; we found ourselves paying $15 for one martini, going into ridiculously small bathrooms (considering how big the bar was) and witnessed several men flirting with Audrey’s mom (to much amusement for us and her stepdad). When our time expired at one bar, we hopped into an Uber to travel to the next location. It was called the “Kozy Kar”, “ a little whole-in-the-wall bar that could be characterized by having a lot of fur lining the interior, harsh pink lights, and porn that plays on video screens” (Park). At this time Audrey was completely inebriated and could barely stand, so she sat at the bar and sipped water. The most significant moment of the night was when the bartender came to me (as I was clearly the most sober and put-together of the group) to tell me “you need to take care of your friend, she can barely control herself”. I let him know that her parents were literally standing right next to her and he looked me straight in the eyes and dropped his mouth in disbelief. I saw him walk over to her parents, who were seemingly unbothered by their daughter’s state, to be told we need to leave. Anna and I haul Audrey to the bathroom. Me, a girl she barely knew, helped keep her stable as we waddled to the toilet where she could barely hold her liquor down and she puked several time. I could only describe that moment like the famous Jamie Foxx song says: “Blame it on the alcohol”. Audrey’s sister watched from the sideline, smirking. The night ends, and as we drove home from San Francisco we agreed we had a good time but are a little dumbfounded where the night went. “It was something we can say was a unique experience” Anna tells me when I ask her to reflect on the night we just encountered (Perez, Jazmyn).