Domestic Violence Against Men

Student name

English Comp 101-07

December, 1. 2011

Domestic Violence Against Men

Society has led us to believe that in a heterosexual domestic partnership, the female is usually the one that falls victim to domestic violence. Cases where the male is the victim of the domestic violence are not seen or mentioned as often. There are likely many more cases that go unknown because men are less likely than women to report cases of domestic violence.

A man that is being abused by his wife or female partner faces the obstacle of proving that he is a victim. Most men react to abuse by staying silent. This silence is the man's way of dealing with the abuse. If he speaks about the abuse he faces the possibility of ridicule by his peers and perhaps even the authorities. A man must also consider that in the case that he proves that he is the victim of some form of abuse he will likely have to leave the home he shares with the woman as it is very unlikely that the woman would be forced to leave the home – so the victim has to consider homelessness as a possible outcome of reporting the abuse. Being forced to leave the home would also mean being separated from children if the couple has children. This separation would most likely also cause the man to have to seek visitation and contact with the children through help from the court system. In cases where the man is the abuser it is often also assumed that he may be violent towards the children but this is not the case with women.

There are medical conditions which may cause a person to be violent but it is expected that persons with these problems would seek help for these problems. In cases where a man is the abuser there are no acceptable "excuses". Things like PMS, post-partum depression and menopause are sometimes used as excuses for women's violent behavior.

Both men and women in abusive relationships will try many things in hope that the abuse will stop. They will sleep in other parts of the home, try to stay out of the abuser's way, they promise to do whatever the other partner wants or asks, accept responsibility for accusations of sometimes ridiculous things that are not true, make up stories to friends and family members to cover their partner's behavior.

When a man that is being abused attempts to report the abuse, he is met with doubt and excuses for the woman's behavior. He may hear that "he must have done something to the woman", or the excuse of his size being a reason to believe that either he is lying or that he abused the woman and she was attempting to defend herself.

Men in an abusive relationship should do what women do to provide proof of the abuse – they should keep a record of dates and times of all abusive incidents, go to the hospital or doctor so that there is a record of the injuries, tell family and friends of the abuse.

Victims of abuse come from all cultures, economic, and social backgrounds. Abuse does not discriminate based on race, religion, color, or wealth. The fact that cases where men are abused are less common doesn't mean that those who do report the abuse should not have the help that they need. Domestic